There's still time to change the road you're on; and it makes me wonder...[Mar. 30, 2015]

Crazy, crazy week.
Well my b-day went as planned. The driving range was awesome, but it's been a while since I've been so I think my form was a bit off. But it even went better than planned, because I realized there's a Barnes & Noble, so obvs we had to go in and obvs after smelling it's gloriousness I had to buy something ...which was a dictionary. Super needed it because now I can at least halfway understand Jesus the Christ.
Our District Leader though. He is pretty cool, he came out with me and he's 18 and looks like the 6th member of One Direction. Well, District Meeting was really bad, we had awful numbers, because yeah, just circumstances we're going through and they were less than charitable. I was saying how this was the hardest week and we put so much effort in and got nothing out.  And instead of being like okay, just be patient and you'll see the results, or we know you are working hard, just keep pulling through it. They looked at the numbers and looked at us and said, we don't think you're putting enough effort in.
Remember last week when I allowed that 10 year old to bully me. Well ,I was telling someone this story during dinner and I realized that incident occurred to teach me something. The thought came to me clear as day. You're letting 18 year old boys bully you.
My comp decided we aren't telling them our numbers until the end of the week. So Tuesday night, he calls and this week the Mission Challenge was total lessons so he asked us for our total lessons. Well it went like this, "It's somewhere between 1-10." He played it cool at first, but by the end. "TELL ME THE FRIGGIN NUMBER! and okay you got 3 secs to tell me the number. Then counted down. 1-10." He had to call the Elders, so he just left it at that. But then we got the text.
Hey so what's your total lessons for the day?
I don't know....between 1 & 5 :)
I'm gonna destroyyyyy you. What is it?
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... :P
The Zone Leaders need itttt!!!
Actually, we think they can live without it.
and guess what....they did!
This is a vast contrast from text conversations we have with the Lake Shawnee Elders. Lots of: love you sisters! Love you, too! We missed you at blah blah blah! One time I was bored and after they texted love you! We texted back, love you more! That might've crossed a line. lol. They didn't reply back. #awkwardmissionarymoments

After a few days and some conference with Ben, who is our moral compass in matters such as getting the upper hand, we told him our numbers. I think it was a good wake up call and actually developed a better relationship of trust with the Elders.

Wednesday was Sisters Conference where sisters in 4 zones got together, and we had some speakers and did some activities. So inspired. So good. One lady, she just was spewing everything I needed to hear.
She mentioned that we can't let other people define our success. (This might be news to our District Leader.) She quoted Sister Hinckley when she mentioned that we have to set our own pace and nobody likes to be outpaced, but we have to be okay with it, because that's how we'll be happy, or we will always be discontent.

She said that sometimes we are drowning and in order to be saved, we have to just let go. When someone is literally drowning the lifeguard needs them to be calm so that they can properly get them out of the water. In order to fully use the atonement, we have to let things go, calm down, and let the Lord take over.

She also said that ministering angels are there to help. I knew this when I started out and I was fully aware of their help, but as I've gone on and gotten prideful...hey I can do this! I think my angels have been taking a vacation. After I realized this I've had some heartfelt prayers asking God to have my angels punch in again. I have not felt alone since. She said that when we are in the Lord's errand we are kind of like in a group project and you know in high school when you are placed in a group project and you always have that one kid who just isn't the brightest and you just want to tell them, it's okay, we got this, why don't you do some mineal task over there. She said that we are that dull kid and our angels are just fine with us pulling over and letting them take control of the situation.

She said that everyone is on their journey and you need to let them take it. What we don't heal we repeat. Apparently you really can't fix everyone's problems.

She also said that if we have patterns in our life, it's us repeating something we have not learned and we need to really take that into consideration. I've definitely noticed that when I work the hardest and put the most effort and passion in, I get the least out of it. Tenacity is a thing apparently. He wants you to recognize your weakness so you can overcome it.

Thursday morning, I reached my breaking point. After that, I was emotionally dead for about 2 days. Missions are just the hardest thing. If you don't believe me, it's time for you to go on one.

Friday, we went to the library so Sister Blood could schedule her classes and I was minding my own business reading Jesus the Christ when the kid next to me tosses me a Snickers bar. Haha little did he know he was trying to pick up a missionary. Because He Lives was finally online so I got to show him it right there, and I loaded him up with the BOM and an addiction recovery book I randomly had in my bag. I also showed him my cool, cute mini bible and he was like that's awesome, I really need a bible, do you have any extras...no, but here you go. He commited to come to the chili cook-off that we were having at the church that night. His ride was late and he was off doing something else by then, but it's time he met my friends, the Elders.
Well, Saturday was Women's conference. Yup, needed that. I'm sorry for all y'all who also were there, because Elder Eyrrings talk was written for me. He quoted that charity never faileth and it hit like a brick. Why is failure so hard to overcome and why are we so quick to define our lives with it? Of course we're all failures...we're imperfect and we know it, why do we have such a hard time accepting this?

I also got to see Debbie there which was sooooooo awesome! There is SANITY in this world!

Sunday, I started a fast for more unity with the ward and a knowledge of how we can do it. We followed up with the youth if anybody gave out a Book of Mormon as we challenged them to do two weeks ago, one girl actually did! Then later we got a text from another girl asking to come on a team up with us!! Then we had dinner with the Bishop and it was soooo good. Well like the food was and the lesson we had with him. lol. I said to my comp 2 hours before, man I'm really craving some chicken enchiladas...it was an inspired meal. We told Bishop we are wanting to have a Ward Fast in May for Missionary Work and that we will work with each member to have a specific name to fast for. Well, he was all for it and said that in Bishopric Meeting they even said that they want may to be a May of Miracles and he said that he was thinking of having a testimony during the 5th sunday where people say what Missionary Miracles they had. This is coming from a Bishop that our Ward Mission Leader was warned is not into Missionary Work. His wife read him this quote that morning from her lesson about missionaries being full time teachers and members full time finders. He said that really struck him and he never thought of that before. Totes said that in my talk two weeks ago, but like I don't even care, because he is finally on our side! The Bishop said he was really impressed with our work with the less actives and he has had a lot of unexpected people come in asking how they can work to go to the temple. Bishop trust=check!

Transfers are this week and guess what! The area is NOT closing!! HUZZAH!
My comp will be moving to Andover in Wichita and I will be with a new comp. Perfect way to celebrate Easter. New beginnings.
Happy Easter. Love you all!
Don't forget to post helives.mormon.org

Or you can do one step better and share with specific people in messages that you feel inspired need it.

haha lots of pics to come...

Birthday Dinner with the Kubies

District Leader I feel bad for ragging on him
and not having a decent picture....but
he really is a good kid,
especially for getting emergency transferred
back into his ward and being district leader
for the first time and training as well. 

 Elder Wright (DL's trainee),
 Lake Shawnee elders:
Elder Seamons & Elder Bean
(who is getting transferred), me

Ben....maybe we need to find
a different moral compass....the potential
for my weight to lose after my mission
is growing, thank you.

Elders be Elders

Elder Bean, again

Sis Blood

Taking Pics
 

Driving Range

Sis Blood driving range

Sittin' on a log...I swear
we actually work as well..lol

Swinging...

 



Holding doors 4daz

Debbie and I at Womens Conference

Womens Conference!