There's still time to change the road you're on; and it makes me wonder...[Mar. 30, 2015]

Crazy, crazy week.
Well my b-day went as planned. The driving range was awesome, but it's been a while since I've been so I think my form was a bit off. But it even went better than planned, because I realized there's a Barnes & Noble, so obvs we had to go in and obvs after smelling it's gloriousness I had to buy something ...which was a dictionary. Super needed it because now I can at least halfway understand Jesus the Christ.
Our District Leader though. He is pretty cool, he came out with me and he's 18 and looks like the 6th member of One Direction. Well, District Meeting was really bad, we had awful numbers, because yeah, just circumstances we're going through and they were less than charitable. I was saying how this was the hardest week and we put so much effort in and got nothing out.  And instead of being like okay, just be patient and you'll see the results, or we know you are working hard, just keep pulling through it. They looked at the numbers and looked at us and said, we don't think you're putting enough effort in.
Remember last week when I allowed that 10 year old to bully me. Well ,I was telling someone this story during dinner and I realized that incident occurred to teach me something. The thought came to me clear as day. You're letting 18 year old boys bully you.
My comp decided we aren't telling them our numbers until the end of the week. So Tuesday night, he calls and this week the Mission Challenge was total lessons so he asked us for our total lessons. Well it went like this, "It's somewhere between 1-10." He played it cool at first, but by the end. "TELL ME THE FRIGGIN NUMBER! and okay you got 3 secs to tell me the number. Then counted down. 1-10." He had to call the Elders, so he just left it at that. But then we got the text.
Hey so what's your total lessons for the day?
I don't know....between 1 & 5 :)
I'm gonna destroyyyyy you. What is it?
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... :P
The Zone Leaders need itttt!!!
Actually, we think they can live without it.
and guess what....they did!
This is a vast contrast from text conversations we have with the Lake Shawnee Elders. Lots of: love you sisters! Love you, too! We missed you at blah blah blah! One time I was bored and after they texted love you! We texted back, love you more! That might've crossed a line. lol. They didn't reply back. #awkwardmissionarymoments

After a few days and some conference with Ben, who is our moral compass in matters such as getting the upper hand, we told him our numbers. I think it was a good wake up call and actually developed a better relationship of trust with the Elders.

Wednesday was Sisters Conference where sisters in 4 zones got together, and we had some speakers and did some activities. So inspired. So good. One lady, she just was spewing everything I needed to hear.
She mentioned that we can't let other people define our success. (This might be news to our District Leader.) She quoted Sister Hinckley when she mentioned that we have to set our own pace and nobody likes to be outpaced, but we have to be okay with it, because that's how we'll be happy, or we will always be discontent.

She said that sometimes we are drowning and in order to be saved, we have to just let go. When someone is literally drowning the lifeguard needs them to be calm so that they can properly get them out of the water. In order to fully use the atonement, we have to let things go, calm down, and let the Lord take over.

She also said that ministering angels are there to help. I knew this when I started out and I was fully aware of their help, but as I've gone on and gotten prideful...hey I can do this! I think my angels have been taking a vacation. After I realized this I've had some heartfelt prayers asking God to have my angels punch in again. I have not felt alone since. She said that when we are in the Lord's errand we are kind of like in a group project and you know in high school when you are placed in a group project and you always have that one kid who just isn't the brightest and you just want to tell them, it's okay, we got this, why don't you do some mineal task over there. She said that we are that dull kid and our angels are just fine with us pulling over and letting them take control of the situation.

She said that everyone is on their journey and you need to let them take it. What we don't heal we repeat. Apparently you really can't fix everyone's problems.

She also said that if we have patterns in our life, it's us repeating something we have not learned and we need to really take that into consideration. I've definitely noticed that when I work the hardest and put the most effort and passion in, I get the least out of it. Tenacity is a thing apparently. He wants you to recognize your weakness so you can overcome it.

Thursday morning, I reached my breaking point. After that, I was emotionally dead for about 2 days. Missions are just the hardest thing. If you don't believe me, it's time for you to go on one.

Friday, we went to the library so Sister Blood could schedule her classes and I was minding my own business reading Jesus the Christ when the kid next to me tosses me a Snickers bar. Haha little did he know he was trying to pick up a missionary. Because He Lives was finally online so I got to show him it right there, and I loaded him up with the BOM and an addiction recovery book I randomly had in my bag. I also showed him my cool, cute mini bible and he was like that's awesome, I really need a bible, do you have any extras...no, but here you go. He commited to come to the chili cook-off that we were having at the church that night. His ride was late and he was off doing something else by then, but it's time he met my friends, the Elders.
Well, Saturday was Women's conference. Yup, needed that. I'm sorry for all y'all who also were there, because Elder Eyrrings talk was written for me. He quoted that charity never faileth and it hit like a brick. Why is failure so hard to overcome and why are we so quick to define our lives with it? Of course we're all failures...we're imperfect and we know it, why do we have such a hard time accepting this?

I also got to see Debbie there which was sooooooo awesome! There is SANITY in this world!

Sunday, I started a fast for more unity with the ward and a knowledge of how we can do it. We followed up with the youth if anybody gave out a Book of Mormon as we challenged them to do two weeks ago, one girl actually did! Then later we got a text from another girl asking to come on a team up with us!! Then we had dinner with the Bishop and it was soooo good. Well like the food was and the lesson we had with him. lol. I said to my comp 2 hours before, man I'm really craving some chicken enchiladas...it was an inspired meal. We told Bishop we are wanting to have a Ward Fast in May for Missionary Work and that we will work with each member to have a specific name to fast for. Well, he was all for it and said that in Bishopric Meeting they even said that they want may to be a May of Miracles and he said that he was thinking of having a testimony during the 5th sunday where people say what Missionary Miracles they had. This is coming from a Bishop that our Ward Mission Leader was warned is not into Missionary Work. His wife read him this quote that morning from her lesson about missionaries being full time teachers and members full time finders. He said that really struck him and he never thought of that before. Totes said that in my talk two weeks ago, but like I don't even care, because he is finally on our side! The Bishop said he was really impressed with our work with the less actives and he has had a lot of unexpected people come in asking how they can work to go to the temple. Bishop trust=check!

Transfers are this week and guess what! The area is NOT closing!! HUZZAH!
My comp will be moving to Andover in Wichita and I will be with a new comp. Perfect way to celebrate Easter. New beginnings.
Happy Easter. Love you all!
Don't forget to post helives.mormon.org

Or you can do one step better and share with specific people in messages that you feel inspired need it.

haha lots of pics to come...

Birthday Dinner with the Kubies

District Leader I feel bad for ragging on him
and not having a decent picture....but
he really is a good kid,
especially for getting emergency transferred
back into his ward and being district leader
for the first time and training as well. 

 Elder Wright (DL's trainee),
 Lake Shawnee elders:
Elder Seamons & Elder Bean
(who is getting transferred), me

Ben....maybe we need to find
a different moral compass....the potential
for my weight to lose after my mission
is growing, thank you.

Elders be Elders

Elder Bean, again

Sis Blood

Taking Pics
 

Driving Range

Sis Blood driving range

Sittin' on a log...I swear
we actually work as well..lol

Swinging...

 



Holding doors 4daz

Debbie and I at Womens Conference

Womens Conference!
 

I don't know about you, but I'm turning 22...[Mar. 23, 2015]

 
I started the day with this glorious bath and then an egg mcmuffin and hot chocolate. Then I opened my presents which were shirts and sunglasses. We did our laundry. I'm emailing now. Then we are going to Panda Express for lunch. Then the necessary stop at Chili's for hot lava cake. Then we are going to the Stake Center to gather missionaries to go to the driving range. After that we are hitting up Walmart for groceries and then possibly if we have time, the mall and thrift store. Such a blessing my birthday is on P-day...yay!
On Friday, we did a lot of walking. We ran into a guy named Cedric and then another one named Victor. Harry and Fleur and we would've had all Tri-Wizard competitors. We got sick of having to decide which direction to walk around, so I carried a quarter in my pocket and we flipped to decide which direction to walk when we hit a crossroads.
Last Tuesday at district meeting we, like always, did a role play and no one was volunteering to be the Missionaries and not gonna lie, I can't pay attention unless I'm a part of it (even though you are on the spot and all your teaching flaws are shown to your District). I volunteered and since your companion does it with you Sister Blood gave me the dirtiest glare I've ever seen. Thankfully, it was a good role play and we had an easy Elder act as an investigator, and I didn't get stabbed later on that day.
Wednesday, we had a specialized training where they put a babysitter in all of our cars. TIWI'S. It speaks in this creepy computer voice. It's only yelled at me a couple times to slow my speed down. It also has the ability to send to your president if you are outside the mission, or if you are out after 10:30pm or before 5:30am, or if you decided to see how much air you can get going over a bump, or if you are a taking a turn to tight, or if you slam on your brakes.
Also, at specialized training, I learned that one of my old investigators in Kaw Valley got baptized on Saturday and they didn't tell me, so I didn't go. Not like I'm mad or anything...but the presence of anyone in my old district is going to be looked over for the time being.
Thursday, we had a team-up with a recent convert, so we went and visited some investigators and it was really good. But by the end of the day we realized that we hadn't talked with 10 new people which was a challenge this week from the mission, so it was 8pm and we were in Oakland, which is pretty ghetto. One investigator was like, it's really not bad! We haven't had a shooting in 2 months!! Well, I felt we really needed to get out and knock doors, but my comp looked at me like I was cray cray. But we got out and knocked a couple doors, and we met some less actives that the missionaries used to work with, but not so much anymore. We met one guy who seemed pretty interested. We set up an appointment for yesterday and the Elders hopefully went and saw him...hopefully he wasn't disappointed we didn't come back, but the Elders did. I felt pretty good about it, because we totally stretched ourselves and had a successful day of seeing people, yet when the District Leader called that night he was still in rebuking mode. How are you going to repent and do better tomorrow? Whatever. I have to keep reminding myself, I'm serving the Lord and as long as I'm trying that's what matters. The next day he decided to micro-manage us and call us in the middle of the day. By that time we already talked with 17 people.
I've learned that when I start getting stressed, if I go into organizing mode and plan things out and start physically organizing things or mentally organizing things into lists of things to do or people we need to see or call, I start feeling a lot better. It helps me realize that things are moving forward and even if it doesn't look like it to our leaders, we are still serving the Lord and it only matters what He thinks.

22!

22!

 Walking up to the Capitol last p-day.

I decided to change companions...lol...
awkward...
One elder was so weirded out
that I was wearing a white shirt,
 he gave me his tie and took a picture

You can see "the green monster" it's off limits
to missionaries because it's like one giant drug
and prostitute apartment complex. 

Topeka

Black Skirt, Black Skirt; the longer you wear it the blacker it gets...[Mar. 16, 2015]

Update on the cold: I stopped taking Zicam and the next day I lost my voice and then the next day my nose was a little runny and that was it. I think my body was so pumped with Zicam and vitamin C and my killer offense of an immune system just nipped that thing in the bud.
I recently got sick of every day looking at my wardrobe and thinking what skirt am I going to wear for the hundredth time today? So I decided that I was just going to wear the same skirt everyday and see who notices. It's a black skirt with pockets and one of my favorites and goes with about everything. Obviously, no one notices because it's a plain black skirt. I already need to sew on the back button, but it for some reason makes my mornings that much less stressful.
Sorry, this is kind of boring, but this week was not super eventful.
Oh we went to this place called HuHot that is a Mongolian grill and it was a lot fancier than Chang's in Portland, but cheaper and not as good, but that might be because I'm biased.
We also have this teenage girl investigator who's mother is a less active. This girl went to Girls Camp three times and was even in the Kansas City Temple dance event thing they do when the temple opens. Yet, her mom doesn't want her getting baptized until she knows more, so like in a year. Which we think is just a bit too far out, since we think she is ready for it on March 28th. So we fasted with her yesterday. Hopefully we can get her mom on our side, until then all we can do is pray.
I gave a talk yesterday. Three weeks ago someone in the bishopric asked if I know anything about family history...uh not really, especially since like I can't even do it now...so I was asked to speak on missionary work, family history work and temple work. You probably can assume I leaned on one subject than the rest. A high counselor spoke after me and referenced me a few times, but called me Sister Skidmore. Teasing later occurred. Our ward also has an Elder Seamons, which is kind of confusing, but the person who mixes us up the most is his companion.
Our ward Mission Leader's wife just got back from New Jersey and she was describing how fast paced it was. I just started identifying with everything she was saying. How everyone is so determined to get where they need to be. They talk fast, oh and the best part...they can get whatever food they want delivered at whatever time they want. It's my utopia! But then I realized that I have this belief that for some reason I think you aren't living your life the fullest if you don't have your plate heaping full and running to and fro to get to places. Kansas has really taught me what's important in life....get on disability and watch netflix all day! Okay, I guess there's probably middle ground somewhere.... I think as long as you have time in your life to drop what you are doing and serve people, then that's what's important. Such as if Sister Missionaries call you at 8:30pm after dark from a ghetto area sitting on a park bench asking if you could give them a ride home, because theirs fell through as they were saving on miles... if you're able to do that, then you're good. Not that that happened or anything....
I actually took pictures this week!

The Elders were playing outside
in the nice weather with the
 Thompson kids before dinner.

Me on a bridge.

 Larissa, she is super cute!
I keep trying to get her
to remember my name and
she asked if I was Sister Deppe
and I was like, no she's gone
and she gave me this face that looked like
I just told her her dog died.
 I had to back up, but she'll be back!
It was really bad.


 

The Sisters in our Zone and the STLs.

Titanium...[Mar. 9, 2015]

I have been on the precipice of a cold for the past 4 days. I was sure after the first night I would be completely sick...but then I wasn't. It was like a battle where I could see the enemy encroaching. I bought some Zicam to arm myself and Nyquil/Dayquil for the inevitable. But it's been FOUR DAYS... FOUR BLOODY DAYS... and the cold is still just barely there. I think it got intimidated by my Zicam and now it's dragging it's feet. A member mentioned, "Hey maybe that's as bad as it will get?"...but I know better. BRING IT.
I recently discovered meekness and this talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell and it is sooooo good. It's frustrating, because it's not something that you can just do, like, "Hey I'm going to be meek today," but it's something that you obtain and become. Someone yesterday at church said you have to do the actions first before the heart comes in. I've heard fake it 'til you make it, but the way she said it makes so much more sense. Love it.
This week has been crazy. My comp has discovered that she can't digest processed foods really well so her physical sickness led to some just sadness and homesickness...and it's been rough. I've had to really rely on the spirit when to push through and work...and when to give her time. It's been so cool though, because we were able to receive so many miracles. The Lord will have His work go forth no matter what and He can give us the added strength when we need it. We were able to hit our mission standard after over 3 1/2 months of Lake Shawnee not hitting it and everything really just came.
We also learned as a Mission that we are getting IPAD Mini's the end of May. If you go home before Nov.23rd, you don't have to pay for it and it stays with the mission, but otherwise you have to pay for it and keep it. It's going to be so awesome with area books and planners online and better connected to our ward mission leaders and missionaries...and oh you want to watch a Mormon message in the middle of a lesson?... well let me pull it up for you. bam.

[So, she had me title her blog this week--too much battling her foe to think clearly. Keeping up with her tradition of sticking to song titles, I had to peruse my playlist and this seemed quite fitting (this will probably be the first and last time she gives up control when she finds out! ha!ha!)....]

I Don't Care What They Say About Us Anyways...[Mar. 2, 2015]

This week has been hard, this area for some reason that I still can't exactly pinpoint is just difficult. It's nice because we get fed every day and we see a lot of members, but the numbers are just not coming. I've learned that my companion can sometimes get discouraged and stressed--that I have to just keep working and the motivation will follow (and hopefully she doesn't hate me for pushing her). It's just not the easiest thing for me to do.

Last night an Elder tried convincing me how similar Utah and Oregon are. Obviously he's never been to Oregon, but he's like, "Well there's like mountains in both and areas of grass..." I just gave him this look.

We had this awesome dinner where she made spaghetti like normal, except with angel hair pasta--and she combined the sauce and noodles. She rolled Rhodes rolls (after rising) into a rectangle, put the spaghetti in the middle, cut the dough on the sides in stripes to lace over the spaghetti, put an egg wash on top with parmesan cheese, onion powder and italian seasoning. Later in the week, we also had waffles and we put sweetened condensed milk on top. Yum...I can feel the diabetes coming on.

One of our Zone Leaders looks like Buddy Holly, isn't there a song about that? (There is, I think it's called "Buddy Holly", it's fantastic, enjoy it, because I can't!) We were sitting in Spangles and there was a wall of pictures of Buddy Holly. I would say pictures will follow, but that would be awkward just taking a picture of an Elder.

We went on exchanges this week and it was fantastic, especially since I got to leave my area and not have to worry about what we were going to do while there. I don't know, a lot of stress just comes with that. So I went to Lawrence and a member fed us IHOP and I got to actually learn a lot from the STL. She just has so much confidence that it attracts everyone. It's annoying, because I really want to be able to be like that and I think it partly comes naturally to her and partly she just practices a lot. It's annoying, because I want to work on my confidence, but also my charity/humility. Which I think right off the bat sounds like opposites, but they aren't because they are all Christlike attributes. So, somehow there is a way to have them all.

I've been learning a lot from my companion. I think she thinks I'm the biggest idiot of the world. Which I think is a big success for myself, because I have been working on not being condescending because of my age, and my humility, but it's also kind of annoying. Sometimes I do deserve it. She's just a classic BYU student who knows her stuff. Oh be Wise, What Can I Say More? She has the brain of an engineer, which, trust me, I know. So when she told me she was thinking of going into business, I was surprised and we talked about it and she said she had been thinking how she likes math and about engineering. So I think that's what she is planning on now. Either way she is going to do fantastic with whatever she does. I don't know if I put any info up about her, but she's 20 and went to BYU for a semester and has been on her mission one year and is from Kaysville, Utah.