Tuesday, September 8, 2015

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...[Sept. 7, 2015]

An ode to coconut oil. The most versatile jar of gunk I have. It easily takes off my waterproof mascara with a delightful eye massage every night. I use it on the ends of my hair because it's like the
natural oil of your head, but my ends are so far from my scalp, so it is keeping them healthy and letting my hair grow long. It takes off rings easy if they happen to get stuck on your finger. You can use it while cooking, but the jar I have has olive oil as well and was meant for hair, so it has whatever other crap in it as well, so I don't use it for that. But the best part is I have had the same small jar for
at least 6 months and it's not even halfway done. It can be used for so many more things, so much potential, but this is as far as I have ventured with it.
Now for this week, I'm going to take the advice of Thumper's mother and without anything nice to say, I'm going to just not say anything at all...or at least try to. It's hard for me to edit stuff out....I'm
kind of an open book. But just, these are my thoughts, so take them with a grain of salt and I hope I don't offend anybody.
We went to the temple on Tuesday! It was fantastic, well the actual temple part of it. It was amazing. I would start to think of questions I have and revelation would just flow and everything I needed was
instantly answered. I would not even be here if it wasn't for revelation I received in the temple, revelation I by far wasnt even looking for, over 19 months ago.
We went to the Kansas City temple. I went to it before when I was in Topeka. Going to the temple is a super rare thing, especially since we don't have one in our mission, so it was really awesome and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. But when we got back that night I just turned to my companion and we decided, stupidly, because of actions of another person, it ruined it for us.
That night I had decided that I was done. I had given him a good month full of chances and all he did was burn bridge after bridge I attempted to build. I just lost whatever trust I did have for him.
Then on Friday, at zone training, I had an epiphany and realized that we were having a trend with a few of the people we are working with asking for advice with drama at work. They just keep getting in tiffs with girls that just don't like them. The girls feel either threatened by them, or for some reason or other they just feel like being bullies to the people we are working with. One girl asked me, what would you do if you were in my situation. I said I would ignore them. IGNORE HIM. A lot easer said than done, since ---- [I am editing this part out for her to protect her from herself.]---- I can't just avoid him.  It's really just a matter of forgiving him and moving on. It's hard because I just want him to not be a pain, but you can't do that. You can't make someone change. Agency is real and you only have it for yourself. The only thing within my control is how I let his actions affect me. It does not matter whether or not I am justified in being angry or offended or hurt. (Wow, I really sound like the most sensitive sissy on planet earth, but missions have a way of poking at the deep wound of a weakness you cover and hide even sometimes without realizing it.) I don't know his back story and I don't know the reason behind his actions, but God called him to be [who he is] at this time. He also commanded me and all of us to love all of His children and we are not exempt from ANY of His commandments. But we aren't expected to trudge through them on our own.
Sunday I had another slap in the face revelation. I was watching the addiction recovery videos they just put out. SO GOOD. Seriously check them out. I realized HELLO SISTER SEYMOUR, HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE ATONEMENT? Why the heck do you think it won't apply in your situation. It's the coconut oil of gifts God gives us. You can use it for any trial you are going through. If Christ can change water to wine and can give that guy the ability to get over his coccaine addiction and her meth addiction, he can give you the ability to have charity for [this person]. Give it over to Him!
I realized that because of my lack of charity for one person, that was affecting my charity for others. I've made that decision that I want to change, and today was the first day at it and I completely failed, but guess what, tomorrow is another day and I know that without a doubt Christ is there with me and for me ALWAYS. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, I'll try again tomorrow.
I love you all! Thank you for all your support!

pics- splits with the STLs. Sister Mitchell...my old comp was with me
and she let me rant and was an awesome friend like always. I learned
so much from this chika and she's going home soon.... :(

BIKE WEEK! ...and they said there's no hills in Kansas....this was
Wednesday, but Sunday night it was 8:30pm and still 95 degrees outside
and the weather app said it felt like 100...

district and comp pic at temple.

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