Monday, September 15, 2014

Go Get Punched for the Love Club...[Sept 15, 2014]

The worst thing about being a missionary is the only thing that actually makes missionary work's feeling Heavenly Father's love for the people you talk to. I have now cried twice in the presence of people I'm teaching; and if you know anything about me, it's the fact that I just can't cry...and not for lack of trying!
The first instance is when we were with an investigator and left his house at 8:30, so we had a little time and we decided to knock a few doors. We felt good about a certain one and went up and a nice man answered the door. He was in his 20's and just said, "Oh, hey, sisters!" I just was like, "Oh you know about the church?" He said, "Yeah, I actually grew up in it and served a mission." Then I felt bad and was trying to figure out if I had seen him in church, but then he said he hasn't gone to church for awhile, because he is gay and feels guilty when he does. Tears were just streaming down my face, not because I felt bad for this guy, but I felt this overwhelming love for him, that Heavenly Father let me feel.
He had a girl roommate and invited us in. We talked with him and his partner, who was also super nice and the topic of temples was even somehow brought up. They agreed to come to stake conference the next week and it was just so awesome. He invited us to come back and gave me his number and I'm excited to see him again, not necessarily because I know something will come of it, but because I want to help him feel God's love for him like I have overwhelmingly felt.
The next instance is for my favorite person here, Anna. SHE IS GETTING BAPTIZED on September 20th, keep her in your prayers people! We have been teaching her about every other day and she one day (she struggles with depression and refuses to see a counselor, fun) was crying and accusing us of only seeing her for our numbers and not because we actually care. I just start crying and like I have never felt the Spirit work through me as powerful as it did and just testify to her why we were there and what her role is and everything. I don't even remember it, just was overwhelming. Things like that is what makes everything worth it.
I recently read The Fourth Missionary, which is a talk written by a missionary president over a decade ago about different levels of missionaries. The first is the worst one who gets sent home and the fourth is the best one who is consecrated to the work. I was reading about the third one and that one is exactly obedient because they know it's right, but not really for their benefit and they do everything, just because they want to look good, not because that's God's will. Anyway, it says that they will be tracting down a hot road and be wishing that they were driving in their car at home and I was like, oh ouch! I totally have done that same exact thing and then ensued this whole self review (what's the word for that) I thought about how I can more fully enjoy the work. I realized if someone played a game of would you rather, there always would be things at home I would rather do than missionary work such as walking in the humid heat or getting doors shut in my face, but really there is plenty of things I would never trade such as teaching lessons or meeting members or just taking a stand for what I know is true.
It's hard work, but it's not my work and I want to be able to reach the point where I never look at numbers, but do everything, because I'm led to places where I need to be. I don't know if that makes sense, because it still doesn't make a lot of sense to me, I just know that the numbers stress me out and I'm trying my best to turn my stress into passion, because passion is happiness and stress is almost the worst thing in the world, next to people that play volleyball or sing in the car.

Thriving in the fall weather!

I wore my awesomely fantastic shoes
to church :D

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