It goes like this, the 4th the 5th...[Apr. 27, 2015]

Well, this week started off with interviews with president which for some reason stressed me out, but it went good, he was super happy with what we've been doing here and said that I've reached, "my pivot point" which slightly bothered me. I was like well, I'm just doing what I did before and he said well you're just using the atonement to carry you and I was like yeah, but don't hate me if you just jinxed this week. Okay, I really didn't say that last part, but I wish I had, because he did.
I'm okay with that though, because these weeks humble you and because I feel like it's STL prevention, because the only thing worse than exchanges with the STL's is having an STL as a companion which would happen if you were an STL...I'm guessing it actually would be pretty nice because they would work hard, but it would depend on the sister.
We had a training from the AP's during interviews and at one point I made a comment that letting investigators know our vision for them is like Nephi's vision that he tried explaining to his son's Laman and Lemuel and Nephi had to go find out for himself what the vision was. It made no sense and Elder Jones looked so confused when I said my comment. It was like an awful confused glare. Halfway through the training I turned to my companion and asked if I really said Nephi's vision and she said yeah....and I was mortified and didn't make a comment the rest of the training, until the very end when Elder Jones was asking people to say what revelation they received during the training and he called on me and I told them that when they asked us if we love our missions and how do we show we love it, I was thinking well heck yeah I love my mission and then I got the thought, really?
You loved it last Wednesday when you had a huge headache and no one was answering their doors and you were dog tired? You loved it then? I realized that I don't love every little aspect of my mission, but I can through the atonement, if I let it carry me through the hard times. Yeah, I definitely over think what I say for comments.
On Thursday we spent two hours in Montara in the early afternoon walking around and then we got a ride to Carbondale and spent the rest of the day there visiting less actives and had a dinner with a member there. We found out that night that the elders ran into three different people in Montara that said they had just talked with sisters right before them. They must have walked the same route we took...gotta get to them before they do!
Our investigator that ran away is still missing with a reward for who finds her.
We have investigators who are children of record, but not baptized and we saw them walking down the road so we pulled over and walked with them and talked with them and they are just the cutest! They want to go to church and get baptized, but their parents are just not seeing how church will help them. We have been working with them since I've been here, but the mom dropped us yesterday, so that was super sad.
My aunt visited this week!! She sent a pic to my mom, so hopefully she puts it on here.

You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time...[Apr. 20, 2015]

I used to always have awesome weeks and then the next week would crash and then an awesome week again and my mission followed this pattern, but last week was awesome (the AP's even texted us that night congratulating us on our awesome week) and then this week happened and yep, it was even awesomer...dare I say legend-wait for it-dary.
2 things attribute to these awesome weeks. The first being that it's just all from God. I have an awesome companion who kicks me in the bum and makes me always want to give my all and we teach really well together. She connects really quick with people on their doorstep and I can turn any conversation gospel related through a bom scripture. The second that I'm learning to set my pace. I talked about this a couple weeks ago, but it really is making all the difference. I'm not letting other people push me, I'm going at what I know I can handle and it is the pace God wants me to go. He doesn't want us stressed out, but he wants us living our potential. We need to be pushing ourselves, but in a healthy way. Living in a way where we'll truly have no regrets.
Update on the same girl that I thought had the made up boyfriend in my last blog: Well, the boyfriend is real. They got a new staff who is really nice and one day we visited and she was off with her boyfriend, but we came back later and we just had a long awkward chastity filled lesson. She's not super right in her mind, so our conversation didn't make sense. She committed to come to church, but didn't show, so we visited and her staff said she had ran away with her boyfriend the night before. So she is currently AWOL and we don't know what will happen when they eventually find her. She couldn't have gone far, because the only thing around Montara where she lives is tons of fields. Unless they hitch hiked they are probably still somewhere around there.
We had exchanges this week and they were the least stressful exchanges I've ever went on. I don't know why they give me such anxiety, well I do, it feels like I'm being tested, because randomly throughout the day the STL will write things down that she noticed or she will make super judgmental comments...it's great, but our STL's now are super chill and you can actually tell they just care about how you're doing.
We had this one dinner last week where we sat around this portable fireplace and it was delightful. They made all sorts of meat on it and I felt like I was at a brazilian grill. Also, the classic grilled corn. My comp and I decided to not have sweets and we have a sign on our wall saying how many days we've gone without sweets, but when exchanges happened we went to this one lady's house and I was worried she'd be offended if I didn't eat dessert, so I partook. I felt soooo bad, what would we do with the sign?! Well after feeling like I failed my companion...I sheepishly asked her the next day, so um..did you have dessert yesterday... she sheepishly answered yes and I was like ME TOO! We high fived and the sisters around us were super confused. Comp unity at it's finest.

A house had this sign on it's side
while we were tracting this week.
At first I was like hey!
We can tell them the answer to that question.
Then I read the rest of the sign and
we chose life instead. 

Westboro Baptist church decided to picket
our building this week.
 

We're halfway there; livin' on a prayer...[Apr. 13, 2015]

Yup, this Tuesday is my true halfway mark....crazy!!! Like how did I even get here?
This past week was amazing! I gave the most lessons in one week than I have my whole mission as well as went on the most team-ups whoot whoot! Sister Westwood is awesome and we just balance each other out so well.
We got this new investigator that was a referral from the Elders and she is a bit interesting....she lives with a roommate who also is interesting and they have "staff" with them 24/7 that are kind of like their guardians. Well, she was super interested, she also gets super sidetracked. I recited the First Vision and I could tell she was thinking of something else and when I finish she looks at me and asks, is being gay a sin? Ummmm, no, but acting on it is, now back to the Prophet of the Restoration.
Well, one day we visited and she was on the phone with her boyfriend and so we waited about 10 mins and she came out. Then the next time we saw her we asked if her boyfriend would be interested in coming to church. She said yes, but she would have to ask his staff and she didn't think they would listen to her, so she told us to go see him ourselves and said that he lives at this certain address, well turns out that it is just a couple houses down from her. So we went to this house and it was completely vacant. Okay, there's a possibility she's schizo...
One day this week I had a really bad headache, so I took 2 Tylenol. Then I realized after an hour it was only getting worse, so I decided in an effort to not overdose to just take 1 more, but then after a bit, my head was still throbbing and it was also foggy. I also was yawning uncontrollably and had absolutely no motivation to go knock doors. So we stopped by this gas station and I downed a liter of diet coke, it was the first time I had caffeine in like 6 months, so an hour later I had to go to the bathroom so bad and my hands were shaking, but man, my headache was totes taken care of.
Well, this week, I realized I had my recital CD and I listened to the part where I explain the last piece I'm going to play, but then I had to turn it off, because I realized how stupid/valleygirl/boring I sounded. It was the first time I ever listened to it, but it ruined me for the week, now I'm super self-conscious about how socially awkward I am. Self-consciousness is something I have definitely gained on my mission and it's a good/bad thing. I think. I don't know. I feel like I haven't really changed much at all on my mission, but I'm sure I have, I just am in the midst of it, so I don't know.
After dinner with the Scerbo's one day we were walking in Montara and it was cold, so Sister Westwood was like we should go running, because it'll make us warmer, so I, of course, remembered that one Friends episode where Phoebe decides to go running with Rachel and while they're running Rachel realizes Phoebe runs like a mania with her arms flailing and Phoebe later explains to her that it makes running fun that way and Rachel tries it one day and was like, whoa, Phoebe was right. So naturally I had to demonstrate how Phoebe was running to Sister Westwood and then we hear the elders and Ben cracking up behind us. Haha, okay maybe I'm not becoming self-conscious at all.
We had a Zone Training last week and I learned something that had nothing to do with what they were training on. I learned that if we want to understand the atonement and how to apply it, we have to understand charity. The Atonement was only done out of complete charity and the best way to get out of any tough trial we are going through is to have charity.

After a zone lunch I was sitting and talking
with Sister Mitchell (my old comp)
and her trainee (sister Hansen)
and I had this sudden urge to just
throw something,
wow it sounds like I was mad,
but I wasn't just wanted to set something flying.
So naturally the only thing I had
was the phone in my hand and I figured
if it really breaks from this then I would just get
a brick (the new phones their issuing out)
 and obvs Sister Blood wouldn't mind,
cuz she was leaving and my new comp
would just never know the reason
why we had a crappy brick phone.
  Well, I yelled out to Elder Wright
and Sister Blood was randomly taking a picture
at the same time and caught the phone in motion,
it's the black blur next to Elder Hunt's face.
Did Elder Wright catch it?
No.
Did it break after skidding across half the gym?
No.
SUCCESS.
This was before transfers, but coincidentally,
everyone in the pic is still in our zone.

Sunrise, sunset...[Apr. 6, 2015]

This week has been pretty good, my new companion is Sister Westwood who is super motivated and awesome. She is very positive which is great. She is from St. George, Utah and she's Asian. Pretty much everything there is to her...lol, no, but really I'm excited for the work we can get done this transfer.
Yesterday we went to this referral we got from the Kaw Valley Sisters. Well, she wasn't home, so we decided to tract around and we got a few appts for later and just some really solid potentials. I was thinking about it and I was like why haven't we tracted this area before and why does it not look familiar at all? Well, we went back to the car and texted our Ward Mission Leader asking if it really was our area. Long story short, the Sherwood Sisters got some awesome referrals from us.
On Friday, we went to this thing in Lawrence, KS they do in the church building called "Walk with Christ". They transform the rooms inside to steps in Christ's life and have actors explain that part in Christ's life. We got a ride from an older part-member family. There was a long line outside and it was pretty cold. The couple we were with were getting tired of standing and it was really cold. Well this lady came by and was like mentioning if there was any nonmembers they are taking them to the front. I was super excited and yelled out, wait, he's not a member! I felt a little bad about it afterwards of just stating his nonmemberness to the world, but then later his wife was like, wow, I'd never thought there would be a time I'd be happy you're not a member.
It was so awesome, they put a lot of work and money towards it. At the end they showed the "Because He Lives" video and I really started thinking about our relationship towards Christ. It's just like any other relationship we have. Whatever effort WE put into it, is what WE get out of it. If you don't feel like you are receiving strength through the atonement, in the words of Mrs. Weasley, it is entirely YOUR fault. It reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof when Tevye asks his wife, "Do you love me?" She starts off saying, I don't know... (okay it's been awhile since I've seen it, but I think it goes like that and all I can think of is that gilmore girl episode when Kirk plays Tevye and it's for this elementary school play so his wife is a little girl and he's asking her, do you love me? It's fantastic.) and then she realizes she does all the cooking and cleaning for him and then realizes she does love him. Of course, our relationship with Christ is different, but we still can exert physical efforts. He asks us to serve others through magnifying our calling and building our families, yeah pretty much anything we do, that involves building the kingdom and keeping His commandments would build on that relationship with Christ. It was an epiphany that I had, but I'm pretty sure, it would only really make sense if you received this epiphany as well.
Our last two new investigators we got are named John and Jane.... with such generic names I think our District Leader is thinking we are making them up. John is pretty awesome, though, he is super interested in the Plan of Salvation and he asks some intense questions that you answer and you can see the light bulbs go off in his head.
We have been working, or I should say attempting to work with the girls in our ward for our young women investigator and it has been a bit frustrating. Not that it reminds me of the ward I grew up in, but I'm getting flashbacks of the ward I grew up in. I've been having to use more charity and like patience and like it's just a good thing that I don't send the texts without reading them to my companion, because they would be getting some really snooty responses.

There's still time to change the road you're on; and it makes me wonder...[Mar. 30, 2015]

Crazy, crazy week.
Well my b-day went as planned. The driving range was awesome, but it's been a while since I've been so I think my form was a bit off. But it even went better than planned, because I realized there's a Barnes & Noble, so obvs we had to go in and obvs after smelling it's gloriousness I had to buy something ...which was a dictionary. Super needed it because now I can at least halfway understand Jesus the Christ.
Our District Leader though. He is pretty cool, he came out with me and he's 18 and looks like the 6th member of One Direction. Well, District Meeting was really bad, we had awful numbers, because yeah, just circumstances we're going through and they were less than charitable. I was saying how this was the hardest week and we put so much effort in and got nothing out.  And instead of being like okay, just be patient and you'll see the results, or we know you are working hard, just keep pulling through it. They looked at the numbers and looked at us and said, we don't think you're putting enough effort in.
Remember last week when I allowed that 10 year old to bully me. Well ,I was telling someone this story during dinner and I realized that incident occurred to teach me something. The thought came to me clear as day. You're letting 18 year old boys bully you.
My comp decided we aren't telling them our numbers until the end of the week. So Tuesday night, he calls and this week the Mission Challenge was total lessons so he asked us for our total lessons. Well it went like this, "It's somewhere between 1-10." He played it cool at first, but by the end. "TELL ME THE FRIGGIN NUMBER! and okay you got 3 secs to tell me the number. Then counted down. 1-10." He had to call the Elders, so he just left it at that. But then we got the text.
Hey so what's your total lessons for the day?
I don't know....between 1 & 5 :)
I'm gonna destroyyyyy you. What is it?
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... :P
The Zone Leaders need itttt!!!
Actually, we think they can live without it.
and guess what....they did!
This is a vast contrast from text conversations we have with the Lake Shawnee Elders. Lots of: love you sisters! Love you, too! We missed you at blah blah blah! One time I was bored and after they texted love you! We texted back, love you more! That might've crossed a line. lol. They didn't reply back. #awkwardmissionarymoments

After a few days and some conference with Ben, who is our moral compass in matters such as getting the upper hand, we told him our numbers. I think it was a good wake up call and actually developed a better relationship of trust with the Elders.

Wednesday was Sisters Conference where sisters in 4 zones got together, and we had some speakers and did some activities. So inspired. So good. One lady, she just was spewing everything I needed to hear.
She mentioned that we can't let other people define our success. (This might be news to our District Leader.) She quoted Sister Hinckley when she mentioned that we have to set our own pace and nobody likes to be outpaced, but we have to be okay with it, because that's how we'll be happy, or we will always be discontent.

She said that sometimes we are drowning and in order to be saved, we have to just let go. When someone is literally drowning the lifeguard needs them to be calm so that they can properly get them out of the water. In order to fully use the atonement, we have to let things go, calm down, and let the Lord take over.

She also said that ministering angels are there to help. I knew this when I started out and I was fully aware of their help, but as I've gone on and gotten prideful...hey I can do this! I think my angels have been taking a vacation. After I realized this I've had some heartfelt prayers asking God to have my angels punch in again. I have not felt alone since. She said that when we are in the Lord's errand we are kind of like in a group project and you know in high school when you are placed in a group project and you always have that one kid who just isn't the brightest and you just want to tell them, it's okay, we got this, why don't you do some mineal task over there. She said that we are that dull kid and our angels are just fine with us pulling over and letting them take control of the situation.

She said that everyone is on their journey and you need to let them take it. What we don't heal we repeat. Apparently you really can't fix everyone's problems.

She also said that if we have patterns in our life, it's us repeating something we have not learned and we need to really take that into consideration. I've definitely noticed that when I work the hardest and put the most effort and passion in, I get the least out of it. Tenacity is a thing apparently. He wants you to recognize your weakness so you can overcome it.

Thursday morning, I reached my breaking point. After that, I was emotionally dead for about 2 days. Missions are just the hardest thing. If you don't believe me, it's time for you to go on one.

Friday, we went to the library so Sister Blood could schedule her classes and I was minding my own business reading Jesus the Christ when the kid next to me tosses me a Snickers bar. Haha little did he know he was trying to pick up a missionary. Because He Lives was finally online so I got to show him it right there, and I loaded him up with the BOM and an addiction recovery book I randomly had in my bag. I also showed him my cool, cute mini bible and he was like that's awesome, I really need a bible, do you have any extras...no, but here you go. He commited to come to the chili cook-off that we were having at the church that night. His ride was late and he was off doing something else by then, but it's time he met my friends, the Elders.
Well, Saturday was Women's conference. Yup, needed that. I'm sorry for all y'all who also were there, because Elder Eyrrings talk was written for me. He quoted that charity never faileth and it hit like a brick. Why is failure so hard to overcome and why are we so quick to define our lives with it? Of course we're all failures...we're imperfect and we know it, why do we have such a hard time accepting this?

I also got to see Debbie there which was sooooooo awesome! There is SANITY in this world!

Sunday, I started a fast for more unity with the ward and a knowledge of how we can do it. We followed up with the youth if anybody gave out a Book of Mormon as we challenged them to do two weeks ago, one girl actually did! Then later we got a text from another girl asking to come on a team up with us!! Then we had dinner with the Bishop and it was soooo good. Well like the food was and the lesson we had with him. lol. I said to my comp 2 hours before, man I'm really craving some chicken enchiladas...it was an inspired meal. We told Bishop we are wanting to have a Ward Fast in May for Missionary Work and that we will work with each member to have a specific name to fast for. Well, he was all for it and said that in Bishopric Meeting they even said that they want may to be a May of Miracles and he said that he was thinking of having a testimony during the 5th sunday where people say what Missionary Miracles they had. This is coming from a Bishop that our Ward Mission Leader was warned is not into Missionary Work. His wife read him this quote that morning from her lesson about missionaries being full time teachers and members full time finders. He said that really struck him and he never thought of that before. Totes said that in my talk two weeks ago, but like I don't even care, because he is finally on our side! The Bishop said he was really impressed with our work with the less actives and he has had a lot of unexpected people come in asking how they can work to go to the temple. Bishop trust=check!

Transfers are this week and guess what! The area is NOT closing!! HUZZAH!
My comp will be moving to Andover in Wichita and I will be with a new comp. Perfect way to celebrate Easter. New beginnings.
Happy Easter. Love you all!
Don't forget to post helives.mormon.org

Or you can do one step better and share with specific people in messages that you feel inspired need it.

haha lots of pics to come...

Birthday Dinner with the Kubies

District Leader I feel bad for ragging on him
and not having a decent picture....but
he really is a good kid,
especially for getting emergency transferred
back into his ward and being district leader
for the first time and training as well. 

 Elder Wright (DL's trainee),
 Lake Shawnee elders:
Elder Seamons & Elder Bean
(who is getting transferred), me

Ben....maybe we need to find
a different moral compass....the potential
for my weight to lose after my mission
is growing, thank you.

Elders be Elders

Elder Bean, again

Sis Blood

Taking Pics
 

Driving Range

Sis Blood driving range

Sittin' on a log...I swear
we actually work as well..lol

Swinging...

 



Holding doors 4daz

Debbie and I at Womens Conference

Womens Conference!
 

I don't know about you, but I'm turning 22...[Mar. 23, 2015]

 
I started the day with this glorious bath and then an egg mcmuffin and hot chocolate. Then I opened my presents which were shirts and sunglasses. We did our laundry. I'm emailing now. Then we are going to Panda Express for lunch. Then the necessary stop at Chili's for hot lava cake. Then we are going to the Stake Center to gather missionaries to go to the driving range. After that we are hitting up Walmart for groceries and then possibly if we have time, the mall and thrift store. Such a blessing my birthday is on P-day...yay!
On Friday, we did a lot of walking. We ran into a guy named Cedric and then another one named Victor. Harry and Fleur and we would've had all Tri-Wizard competitors. We got sick of having to decide which direction to walk around, so I carried a quarter in my pocket and we flipped to decide which direction to walk when we hit a crossroads.
Last Tuesday at district meeting we, like always, did a role play and no one was volunteering to be the Missionaries and not gonna lie, I can't pay attention unless I'm a part of it (even though you are on the spot and all your teaching flaws are shown to your District). I volunteered and since your companion does it with you Sister Blood gave me the dirtiest glare I've ever seen. Thankfully, it was a good role play and we had an easy Elder act as an investigator, and I didn't get stabbed later on that day.
Wednesday, we had a specialized training where they put a babysitter in all of our cars. TIWI'S. It speaks in this creepy computer voice. It's only yelled at me a couple times to slow my speed down. It also has the ability to send to your president if you are outside the mission, or if you are out after 10:30pm or before 5:30am, or if you decided to see how much air you can get going over a bump, or if you are a taking a turn to tight, or if you slam on your brakes.
Also, at specialized training, I learned that one of my old investigators in Kaw Valley got baptized on Saturday and they didn't tell me, so I didn't go. Not like I'm mad or anything...but the presence of anyone in my old district is going to be looked over for the time being.
Thursday, we had a team-up with a recent convert, so we went and visited some investigators and it was really good. But by the end of the day we realized that we hadn't talked with 10 new people which was a challenge this week from the mission, so it was 8pm and we were in Oakland, which is pretty ghetto. One investigator was like, it's really not bad! We haven't had a shooting in 2 months!! Well, I felt we really needed to get out and knock doors, but my comp looked at me like I was cray cray. But we got out and knocked a couple doors, and we met some less actives that the missionaries used to work with, but not so much anymore. We met one guy who seemed pretty interested. We set up an appointment for yesterday and the Elders hopefully went and saw him...hopefully he wasn't disappointed we didn't come back, but the Elders did. I felt pretty good about it, because we totally stretched ourselves and had a successful day of seeing people, yet when the District Leader called that night he was still in rebuking mode. How are you going to repent and do better tomorrow? Whatever. I have to keep reminding myself, I'm serving the Lord and as long as I'm trying that's what matters. The next day he decided to micro-manage us and call us in the middle of the day. By that time we already talked with 17 people.
I've learned that when I start getting stressed, if I go into organizing mode and plan things out and start physically organizing things or mentally organizing things into lists of things to do or people we need to see or call, I start feeling a lot better. It helps me realize that things are moving forward and even if it doesn't look like it to our leaders, we are still serving the Lord and it only matters what He thinks.

22!

22!

 Walking up to the Capitol last p-day.

I decided to change companions...lol...
awkward...
One elder was so weirded out
that I was wearing a white shirt,
 he gave me his tie and took a picture

You can see "the green monster" it's off limits
to missionaries because it's like one giant drug
and prostitute apartment complex. 

Topeka

Black Skirt, Black Skirt; the longer you wear it the blacker it gets...[Mar. 16, 2015]

Update on the cold: I stopped taking Zicam and the next day I lost my voice and then the next day my nose was a little runny and that was it. I think my body was so pumped with Zicam and vitamin C and my killer offense of an immune system just nipped that thing in the bud.
I recently got sick of every day looking at my wardrobe and thinking what skirt am I going to wear for the hundredth time today? So I decided that I was just going to wear the same skirt everyday and see who notices. It's a black skirt with pockets and one of my favorites and goes with about everything. Obviously, no one notices because it's a plain black skirt. I already need to sew on the back button, but it for some reason makes my mornings that much less stressful.
Sorry, this is kind of boring, but this week was not super eventful.
Oh we went to this place called HuHot that is a Mongolian grill and it was a lot fancier than Chang's in Portland, but cheaper and not as good, but that might be because I'm biased.
We also have this teenage girl investigator who's mother is a less active. This girl went to Girls Camp three times and was even in the Kansas City Temple dance event thing they do when the temple opens. Yet, her mom doesn't want her getting baptized until she knows more, so like in a year. Which we think is just a bit too far out, since we think she is ready for it on March 28th. So we fasted with her yesterday. Hopefully we can get her mom on our side, until then all we can do is pray.
I gave a talk yesterday. Three weeks ago someone in the bishopric asked if I know anything about family history...uh not really, especially since like I can't even do it now...so I was asked to speak on missionary work, family history work and temple work. You probably can assume I leaned on one subject than the rest. A high counselor spoke after me and referenced me a few times, but called me Sister Skidmore. Teasing later occurred. Our ward also has an Elder Seamons, which is kind of confusing, but the person who mixes us up the most is his companion.
Our ward Mission Leader's wife just got back from New Jersey and she was describing how fast paced it was. I just started identifying with everything she was saying. How everyone is so determined to get where they need to be. They talk fast, oh and the best part...they can get whatever food they want delivered at whatever time they want. It's my utopia! But then I realized that I have this belief that for some reason I think you aren't living your life the fullest if you don't have your plate heaping full and running to and fro to get to places. Kansas has really taught me what's important in life....get on disability and watch netflix all day! Okay, I guess there's probably middle ground somewhere.... I think as long as you have time in your life to drop what you are doing and serve people, then that's what's important. Such as if Sister Missionaries call you at 8:30pm after dark from a ghetto area sitting on a park bench asking if you could give them a ride home, because theirs fell through as they were saving on miles... if you're able to do that, then you're good. Not that that happened or anything....
I actually took pictures this week!

The Elders were playing outside
in the nice weather with the
 Thompson kids before dinner.

Me on a bridge.

 Larissa, she is super cute!
I keep trying to get her
to remember my name and
she asked if I was Sister Deppe
and I was like, no she's gone
and she gave me this face that looked like
I just told her her dog died.
 I had to back up, but she'll be back!
It was really bad.


 

The Sisters in our Zone and the STLs.